Kuka's World comic strip

I have started experimenting with a new comic strip! It'll probably take awhile for get rolling but it does keep me entertained and off the streets!

If you want to visit my comic blog over at StripGenerator, here is the link to my section: http://kukasworld.stripgenerator.com/

Episode 2 of Kuka’s World Podcast is here!

I am proud to announce that Kuka’s World Podcast has now been picked up and syndicated through i-Tunes. It offers another venue for everyone to keep current on all things Kuka!

Just search for Kukas World on i-tunes and subscribe today! Or use the following link:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=306787568

Alternatively you can access the direct MP3 feed at the following URL:

http://media.switchpod.com//users/kuka/Episode2.mp3

Here is the recipe for this week’s installment of Kuka’s Recipe corner:

Carnitas

3-4lbs of Pork roast (cubed into rough 1” cubes)
6 cups of Chicken Broth
1 Onion (Quartered)
1 tablespoon Cumin
1 Tablespoon Chives
1 tablespoon Oregano
1 tablespoon garlic powder
6 smashed fresh garlic cloves
Small can of Chipotle’s in Adobo sauce
2 bay leaves
Pinch of Salt
Pinch of Black Pepper
Water to cover (if broth is not enough to cover)
1 teaspoon Honey

Combine Pork, Onion, Cumin, Chives, oregano, garlic powder, fresh garlic, Chipotles, adobo sauce, bay leaves in crock pot and cover with broth (augmenting with water if necessary). Set Crock pot to low and let it cook for 8 hours. Take out the pork from the broth and drain well.

Next combine 1 cup of pork juice with the honey. Coat the pieces of pork with the honey/juice mixture and place on a sheet pan in a 450 degree oven for 10-20 minutes to get a little bit of color on it.

The carnitas can be eaten with rice, beans and tortillas or used in tacos, burritos, etc.

Kuka’s World Podcast Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace

It’s here and ready for consumption! Fresh off the presses is the very first episode of Kuka’s World Podcast. As always I invite your comments, suggestions, etc. Drop me an email at Kuka99 (at symbol) gmail (dot) com.

You can download the podcast for free from i-Tunes. Or if you’d like the direct route to the MP3 you can get it at the following links:

RSS Feed = http://www.switchpod.com/users/kuka/feed.xml

The link the to MP3 itself = http://media.switchpod.com/users/kuka/Episode1.mp3

Podcast Alley hosting = http://www.podcastalley.com/podcast_details.php?pod_id=73402

Here’s what I cover in this weeks podcast:

1) Recap of this week’s LOST episode – The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

2) Technology Reviews:

a. The Sony MDR-XD200 Studio Monitor Series Headphones

http://www.sonystyle.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10551&storeId=10151&langId=-1&productId=11038345

b. Fallout 3 (PC Version) by Bethesda Game Studio

http://fallout.bethsoft.com

3) In Kuka’s Recipe Corner

Chicken Fried Steak/BLT Sandwich

Sandwich components:

Chicken Fried Steak

4 Slices of Bacon

Lettuce

Tomato

Mayonnaise (or Miracle Whip)

3 slices of Honey Wheat Bread (lightly toasted)

Chicken Fried Steak:

1 Piece of Cube steak

1 Egg

1 teaspoon water

1 cup of Flour

Salt

Pepper

Garlic Powder

Mrs. Dash

Onion Powder

About ¼ cup of oil

Preheat oil in frying pan over medium heat

Combine Seasonings and Flour in a shallow dish. In a small bowl, make an egg wash by beating the egg with the teaspoon of water. Dredge the cube steak in the seasoned flour, knocking off the excess. Dredge the steak in the egg wash. Then coat in seasoned flour. Knock off excess and place in heated oil in pan. Fry up the breaded cube steak until crispy and golden on both sides. Drain on a paper towel.

Bacon:

Cook 4 slices of bacon (either in the skillet, oven, microwave or use pre-cooked bacon)

Assemble the sandwich triple decker style in the following manner:

-Bread

-Mayo

-Lettuce

-Tomato

-Bacon

-Mayo

-Bread

-Mayo

-Chicken Fried Steak

-Mayo

-Bread

Warning: Make and eat at your own risk. I assume no liability for people who undertake the CFS/BLT Monster. If your cardiologist asks, you found the recipe on a piece of trash in the street. Kuka’s World is not responsible for any mental or physical damage from the CFS/BLT

I like my burgers like I like my women. Angry and Spicy!

To cleanse the palette after the Arby’s chicanery I present in all its glory the Angry Whopper from Burger King.

Basically a delicious concoction of the following toppings:
1) Sizzling angry onions
2) Jalapenos
3) Pepper Jack Cheese
4) Angry Sauce
5) Bacon

The calorie count on a Triple angry whopper is a “whopping” 1360 calories so right about half of the recommended daily caloric intake of a full grown man. All of this goodness in one little package. Throw in the obligatory large soda and large fries or onion rings and you have a days worth of calories in one meal!

Is the Angry Whopper excessively decadent? Absolutely. But it’s also very tasty. It just might be the pinnacle of burger creation.

Being WAY too casual with the term Burger……

Ok Arby’s, you’ve crossed the line. As I was passing the local Arby’s I saw banners everywhere exclaiming that the “RoastBurger” had arrived! Immediately I conjured images of the overly decadent (and downright gluttonous) Hardies burgers combining an auxiliary meat with the burger patty.

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I became. I mean after all, I like Roast Beef sandwiches, and I love burgers. Putting the two together just seems like the logical evolution. However I did some more research to figure out how Arby’s had accomplished this massive feat of food engineering. What I found sickened me…

It was all a ruse (a cunning attempt at trickery). There is no burger patty on the sandwich. It’s a roast beef sandwich, on a different bun, with burger fixings. Their claim is that “it’s the burger done better!”

Bull$%^&!

It’s a mockery to possibly one of the greatest culinary vehicles ever. I’m on to you Arby’s, you can’t fool me. This heretical roast beef in burger’s clothing must cease to exist! Or at least change the name to expensive roast beef sandwich with vegetables and stop sullying the name of the great burger….

The triumphant return of Kuka’s World

Wow, it’s really been two and a half years since I posted?

Ok, so I admit I’m not the most prolific writer. But looking at the date of my last post it’s become apparent that I’ve been dormant way too long. It’s not as though I’ve run out of things to say, it’s just that I’ve been too lazy to actually write them up.

That is why I am pleased to announce that shortly there will be a Kuka’s World Podcast. This new way to get Kuka’s World serves several purposes. First it will allow people who are too lazy to read the ability to share in my delusional ramblings. Secondly even though I’m a voracious consumer of Podcasts, I’ve never created one myself so I find it exciting and new. Thirdly it motivates me to keep up with the blog which had grown dormant. Lastly, I above all other things am really lazy and I figure it’s easier for me to ramble in an MP3 than to type it all up.

Now I’ll field some questions from the crowd:

Question 1

Inquisitive Fictitious Blog follower #1 (IFBF#1): What on earth will this new podcast be about?

Kuka: Well, it’s going to be about whatever random musings appeal to me at the time of recording. It could be discussing the latest episode of LOST, or my take on politics, or my latest recipe/food adventure. Pretty much whatever I feel like talking about.

IFBF#1: So basically the same mindless drivel you spew out on your written blog

Kuka: Pretty much, except it will probably include some music.

Question 2

Inquisitive Fictitious Blog follower #2 (IFBF#2): How often will you produce a new podcast?

Kuka: I plan on doing it weekly but we shall see.

IFBF#2: There’s not even a snowball’s chance in hell that you’ll post with any great regularity.

Kuka: Probably a good point.

Question 3

Fictitious Imaginary Friend #3: You realize that the crowd gathered here exists solely in your head, Right?

Kuka: Ummmm….. No more questions.

So stay tuned to this blog. The plan now is for this podcast to be available via i-tunes and also via SwitchPod.

Once it’s ready I will unleash it upon the world and post the details here.

Internet Customer Support…….(a.k.a. We’ve got your money so you can go F#$% yourself!)….oh and have a nice day……

The other morning was a dark day for me. My Broadband connection was down for quite awhile. My Service provider had technical outages all over the place. So I called their customer support line. After being on hold for quite some time, I was connected to a surly customer support person who basically sounded like the last thing they wanted to do was to talk to my sorry A$$ at 0820 hours.

Being as pleasant as possible (which is quite a feat because without a broadband link to the outside world I feel incomplete) I explained that my service was down. The person told me that someone would be in the vicinity to check service because they’ve had numerous outages reported. I asked for an estimated time frame for restoration of service and was told “Well we have lots of customers without service”. Evidently she didn’t hear my question correctly.

Here’s the point. I pay more monthly for broadband service than many people in developing nations make in a year. I expect excellent service. Sometimes things are beyond control (i.e. a truck hits a junction box, Thermonuclear war, The Biblical Rapture, Paris Hilton winning a Nobel prize for literature, whatever). However I pay enough to have my A$$ kissed and a support person fake sympathy and sound at least a little apologetic when they rob me of productive time (I work from home).

They got the service restored eventually, but I get the following email today from my service provider (my additional retorts are in bold):

We see that you recently contacted us concerning your (Deleted Brand name) High-Speed Internet service. Because we know that your time is valuable, we do want to inform you of some additional options for resolving future issues with your service that are as simple as 1...2...3 and are an added benefit of subscribing to (Deleted Brand name) . Well Ok then, they feel bad about screwing me. Excellent.

With Desktop Doctor you can analyze, diagnose, or troubleshoot your internet connection automatically with just one click - without picking up the phone.
Best of all it is provided free with your (Deleted Brand name) . subscription. Yeah, does your Doctor fix the damn connection when there’s no service? I’ve been in CS/IT related fields for almost 2 decades and that would be really something……..

Need Instant answers? Our virtual (Deleted Brand name) representative is available 24/7 to answer your technical support and customer service questions. Ask (Deleted Brand name) is simple and easy to use. Yeah, great F#$%ing idea F#$%tards. The next time my Internet Service is down, I’ll just log on and go to your virtual representative and get my answer.

With Live Chat, you reach an experienced Technical Support Representative any time of day who will be happy to assist you with your Comcast High Speed questions. This was the last straw. These idiots don’t have a flying F#$%ing clue about why I called, or how this would enrage me. It just goes to show they got my subscription fee and basically I could take a flying F#$% at a rolling donut. So in closing, F#$% you (Deleted Brand name) and your sh!tty support.

PS: Oh yeah, if you’re curious which ISP I’m talking about, just replace all of the (Deleted Brand name) with Comcast….

Gosh Mickey, isn’t it fun to break and enter illegally into someone’s house? (CLANG!!!!!!!) Ummmm…..Mickey?.......Mickey?

This serves as a warning to all vermin big or small. Tread on the domain of Kuka and be prepared to forfeit your life. You think I’m kidding? Are you saying to yourself, “Surely he must jest….”, or “He’s just talking trash….” or “Blah, blah, blah, there goes Kuka talking tough again…”

I submit the following:



Notice the lifeless eyes……

Mr. Mouse thought it was a good idea to encroach on my territory. Kuka and Mr. Fireplace shovel showed him what happens to violators.

Now let me talk to the bunny huggers out there (closely related to the dirty, stinking hippies). Yeah I could have captured him alive and humanely. Yeah I could have taken him across the street and let him go about his little mouse-like life.
But Mickey decided that my magic kingdom was better than his field. He found his way to my castle once, and could do it again with tactical information on how to better avoid detection, and he could blab to the other field inhabitants (rouge squirrels, ground hogs, other unsavory characters).

Listen up bunny huggers, I watch 24. I know how to extract information out of little creatures. Just be thankful he died a quick merciful death (or as merciful as a fireplace shovel can give).

Don’t say you weren’t warned………

To meet another crusader in the fight against evil go to http://whatjeffkilled.com/